You’re creative—not like those philistines you work with. They don’t understand the way you think, so why should they understand anything else about you?
Creatives are notorious for alienating themselves from their co-workers by being a bit different. Here’s a list based loosely on me and a few of my friends that you just might see yourself in. Yes, it’s tongue-in-cheek, but there’s also a lot of truth to the list. Do you relate?
So without further ado, here are ten ways creatives alienate themselves from the “non-creative” people on their teams.
1. Wear a scarf or beanie during the summer.
I don’t care if it’s 100 degrees outside, that scarf or beanie looks awesome. Plus it clearly demonstrates how creative you are. Rock that thing like there’s no tomorrow.
2. Casually name-drop indie bands you know no one listens to.
You might have cried a little when Mumford & Sons won a Grammy. Now you’d have to find a new favorite band since they became too “mainstream”.
3. Refuse to drink coffee roasted more than five days ago.
Most people might be fine with drinking coffee from a Keurig or, God forbid, McDonalds. But you seek out local shops that only brew freshly roasted beans from places like Ethiopia and Antigua, Guatemala. Don’t even get me started on Maxwell House.
Bonus points if you only drink coffee you roasted yourself.
4. Instead of popular devotionals, read from illuminated manuscripts each morning.
Joyce Meyer, Schmoyce Schmeyer. The only way to truly commune with God is through reading elaborate text, painstakingly drawn by Monks from hundreds of years ago.
5. When someone disagrees with you, quote Cirque du Soleil’s creative director.
Creative directors from companies like Cirque du Soleil and Pixar rank just about King Solomon in the wisdom department.
6. Use a Mac. And if the “non-creatives” start using Macs, switch to Linux out of spite.
If someone on your team can figure out how to check their email using your laptop, you’re doing it wrong.
7. Passive-agressively blog about mistakes you see “some churches” make.
If you do it anonymously, you can refer to your blog posts in staff meetings as a method to get your way when people disagree with you.
8. Use cutesie pens or coffee sleeve whenever in public.
Why does your pen have a mustache printed on it? Because you can, that’s why. And I don’t have what others say, that orange knitted fox coffee sleeve is awesome.
9. Wear black. Only black.
The greatest irony in the world is to design a massively bright flyer, yet only wear one color all year long. This is the perfect way to express complexity.
10. Complain about BuzzFeed articles’ bastardization of media, but secretly read them when you’re alone.
I know you clicked on this article. And I know you hate yourself a little. Just don’t tell anyone and nobody needs to know about your hypocrisy.
So there’s the list. Which one pegs you the most? What ways do you think I missed? Share in a comment below!